Getting the Boot? Go to Italy

Dear Aunt Madge,

My husband was offered early retirement from his company and after looking into all the pros and cons he decided to take it. I also decided to quit my job and we were going to take two years and do some traveling while we both still had our health.

I was employed at my job for 16 years. With just two girls in the office, Cindy and myself, we became good friends. One year after I started, Cindy and the boss married. We did a lot of things together as couples, trips, dinners out so on and so forth.

When I gave my notice I gave 8 weeks as they always wanted time to advertise, interview and train. I was told that I would not have to worry about being let go early. Two weeks later, I was given 2 days notice that I was gone. I was in shock. I cried all the next day. I felt betrayed. Even though I was leaving in 2 months, I felt as if I was fired. He didn't even say thanks for the time I had given him or anything. Cindy doesn’t even call or email me anymore.

My husband says he made a business decision, but it sure doesn’t feel like it. Am I being over sensitive about this?

Hurt in PA

Dear Hurt,

Let me understand this; they ask that you give plenty of notice if you’re leaving your work, in this case 8 weeks so that they can find and train a replacement, and then they fire you after 2. That’s some smart business decision making sure they hold all the cards. Honey, you need to call your local labour board and find out if this was legal cause this smells like bad fish to me. If it ain’t legal then you can sue them and if it is you could stand outside their establishment with a sign that says “unfair labour practices”. Of course your sign could say something nastier but this is a family blog.

Now as far as the friendship thing is, I don’t think you’re being oversensitive. If indeed you were all friends, then they’ve frozen you out into Siberia. You have several options here. You could make little dolls and stick pins in them, throw darts at their pictures, or spend your hours dreaming up diabolical plans to get even. Of course that may take away time from your husband and your travel plans and you’ll eventually get a crazed look in your eyes and ratty hair and eventually have to wear a diaper like that astronaut woman and you won’t never have fun again but at least you’ll have…well, nothing. Not even the satisfaction of revenge because you see, they won’t care or know that you’re upset. Unless of course you stand outside their workplace with that nasty sign.

Or you could approach them, perhaps with your husband and find out what is going on. They may have a completely different perception of your friendship. It sounds as if they do. Perhaps for them it was all business and since you are no longer in the business then the friendship is terminated.

Or you could forget about them and go travel around the world having a wonderful time with your husband and making friends with people who don’t care what you do for a living.

Look at it this way, while you’re enjoying the Tuscan sun, laying on the beaches in Greece, walking the wall of China, eating French pastry under the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, and going on Safari to track down the elusive albino tiger, they will be stuck in an office turning into smeagles from lack of sunlight and developing hunchbacks from bending over desks.
Just remember, it hurts to lose friends, but just like a bout of stomach flu, you will get over it.